Have you ever wondered why some people seem to take life's challenges in stride while others feel completely stuck? When things go wrong, do you find yourself thinking, What can I do to fix this? or Why does this always happen to me?
The way we interpret setbacks, opportunities, and successes shapes not just our outlook but also the choices we make. Some of us feel in control of our fate, believing our actions determine our future. Others feel like life happens to them, with luck, circumstances, or other people deciding their path.
This difference is known as locus of control, a psychological concept that describes whether we see ourselves as active participants in our lives or passive recipients of what happens. But this isn’t just about personal perspective. Systemic barriers such as sexism, racism, transphobia, ableism, and economic inequality also play a major role in shaping our experiences of control.
Understanding where we have power and where we don’t can help us find a healthy balance between self-agency and acceptance, allowing us to navigate life’s challenges with both realism and resilience.
What is Locus of Control?
Locus of control refers to how people explain the causes of what happens in their lives. It exists on a spectrum, with two main orientations:
Internal Locus of Control: "I Shape My Own Destiny"
People with an internal locus of control believe that their actions, choices, and efforts determine their outcomes. They see themselves as the driving force behind their successes and failures.
Characteristics of an internal locus of control:
Taking responsibility for actions and their consequences.
Believing that effort leads to results, even in the face of obstacles.
Viewing challenges as opportunities for growth rather than insurmountable setbacks.
Feeling a sense of agency in decision-making.
For example, someone with an internal locus of control who fails an exam might think, I didn’t study enough, so I’ll prepare better next time. They see failure as something they can improve upon rather than something outside their influence.
However, it’s important to recognize that systemic discrimination can limit opportunities. Someone with an internal locus of control may still work hard and take initiative but face real barriers such as hiring discrimination, lack of accessibility, or institutional bias that make success more difficult. A healthy internal locus of control does not mean ignoring these realities but finding ways to navigate them with intention and self-advocacy.
External Locus of Control: "Life Happens to Me"
People with an external locus of control believe that outside forces—luck, fate, societal systems, or the actions of others—are responsible for what happens in their lives. They may feel that no matter what they do, certain factors will always be beyond their control.
Characteristics of an external locus of control:
Attributing success or failure to luck, fate, or external circumstances.
Feeling powerless in the face of challenges.
Believing that life is unpredictable and beyond personal influence.
Struggling to take initiative due to a sense of helplessness.
For example, someone with an external locus of control who fails an exam might think, “The test was unfair” or “My professor just doesn’t like me”. They see failure as something beyond their influence rather than something they could improve upon.
In cases of systemic oppression, an external locus of control can develop as a response to repeated experiences of discrimination or exclusion. When someone encounters racism, homophobia, ableism, or other forms of bias again and again, it can be difficult to believe that personal effort will make a difference. This is not a failure of mindset—it’s a response to real structural inequalities. However, while acknowledging these barriers, it is still possible to reclaim a sense of control by focusing on areas where personal agency is possible.
How Locus of Control Shapes Your Life
Whether you lean more toward an internal or external locus of control, your perspective influences nearly every area of life:
Resilience in the Face of Challenges
People with an internal locus of control are more likely to persist through difficulties, seeing setbacks as temporary and solvable.
Those with an external locus of control may feel defeated more easily, believing they have little power to change their circumstances.
However, those facing systemic oppression may encounter real external barriers that make resilience more complex. The key is learning to distinguish between what is in your control and where external advocacy or collective action is needed.
Mental Health and Stress Management
An internal locus of control is linked to lower stress levels, higher self-esteem, and a greater sense of empowerment.
An external locus of control can contribute to feelings of anxiety and depression, especially when someone feels trapped in a system that does not support them.
Recognizing systemic oppression as a factor in mental health struggles can prevent self-blame, while also encouraging strategies for reclaiming agency where possible.
Relationships and Boundaries
People with an internal locus of control are more likely to set boundaries and take responsibility for their role in relationships.
Those with an external locus of control may feel powerless in relationships, believing they have no say in how others treat them.
However, power dynamics—such as financial dependence, cultural expectations, or safety concerns—can also shape someone’s ability to set boundaries. Understanding these factors can help people make informed, self-protective choices.
How to Develop a Balanced Locus of Control
A completely internal or external locus of control is not ideal. The healthiest approach is balance—acknowledging systemic barriers while also recognizing personal agency.
Identify Thought Patterns – Do you tend to blame external forces, or do you take ownership of your role in outcomes? Recognizing patterns is the first step toward change.
Focus on What You Can Control – Some things in life are beyond personal control. But instead of dwelling on what cannot be changed, ask:
What actions can I take right now?
How can I influence this situation, even in small ways?
What skills or knowledge can I build to improve my circumstances?
Reframe the Narrative: From Powerlessness to Collective Strength – If personal effort alone is not enough to create change, consider how community support, advocacy, or systemic change might make a difference.
Engage in Self-Care Without Guilt – Marginalized individuals often feel pressure to "push through" adversity. Recognizing systemic challenges without over-identifying with struggle can help prevent burnout.
Challenge Victim Mentality Without Dismissing Real Struggles – It’s possible to acknowledge deep injustices without feeling completely powerless. Both can be true:
Yes, systemic discrimination creates real limitations.
Yes, you still have choices, strengths, and the ability to shape aspects of your life.
Your locus of control shapes how you experience life. If you tend to feel powerless, shifting toward a more internal locus of control can help you reclaim agency and resilience. And if you tend to take too much responsibility for things beyond your power, learning to let go can create more peace.
At the same time, systemic limitations are real. A healthy locus of control does not mean ignoring injustice—it means recognizing where you do have power while also advocating for change where you do not.
The goal is not to control everything—but to recognize the power you do have, and to use it with intention. Because the way you see control is often the way you see yourself.
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